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The Unreasonable Man’s Definitive Retrospective Edition

<Staff Writer>

I’d say it’s been quite a year, but I’m not so sure. You see, this is my first time around the block at Osgoode, and I’ve got no point of comparison. Ask me again in March 2013, and I’ll tell you what kind of year 2011-12 was. Nonetheless, I think I can make a few objective statements about our collective experience that began seven months ago.

We have a badass new building
Granted, I never saw the old Osgoode, but I’ve been told that the new facilities actually improve the educational experience so much that anyone graduating before 2014 is going to have an asterisk on their diploma, corresponding to a footnote: “this graduate spent a significant amount of study time in undergraduate library facilities, rendering them prone to public displays of affection and noisy food consumption while conducting research.”

To be fair, I’ve also been told that my own diploma will contain a warning that due to the amount of time spent in the new Osgoode library, I am no longer able to conduct research during daylight hours without wearing NASA-grade sunglasses.

Of course, I would be remiss if I did not point out that the building would be infinitely more badass if it were actually finished. While the number of loose ends has steadily declined since the “grand opening” event in the fall, there remain a few blemishes on the pristine new environment. For one thing, the graduating class composites have been hung up and taken down at least twice, for no discernible reason. Also, the double glass door entrance next to the JCR has proven fickle indeed, being locked on an entirely haphazard schedule, and, more recently, malfunctioning in such a way that may eventually result in a broken window.

Don’t get me wrong; I am more than satisfied with the impressive new facility. But unfinished is unfinished. War and Peace, despite being a massive tome by all accounts, is nonetheless rendered incomplete when some asshole tears page 297 out. Think about that next time you use the glass door.

We have a badass new bursary
I never met Wendy Babcock. From what I’ve learned from others, she was a woman of exceptional motivation and character. Despite not knowing her, I’m sure she would be pleased that so many people have made such an effort to raise funds in her name for the pursuit of social justice. It’s been great to have a charitable cause that directly impacts the Osgoode community. It’s something I never think twice about giving to.

I don’t want to speak too soon regarding the fundraising goal, but even the preliminary numbers I’ve heard through the grapevine are impressive for a student body the size of Osgoode, thanks in large part, I am sure, to the various events in the JCR. Turns out beer is the best way to get donations. Who knew?

We made some badass new lawyers
Third-year students, from the perspective of a first-year student, are smug and just a little too comfortable around Osgoode, what with their fancy jobs and lackadaisical attitude toward class attendance. Ok, not all of them, and not all the time. I suppose a few of them were at least partially responsible for such fabulous things as O-Week, getting the JCR open, Mock Trial, Dean’s Formal, and the Obiter Dicta. To think that in just a short while the masterminds of Osgoode debauchery will be real lawyers boggles the mind. Congratulations on finishing the law school gauntlet, and best of luck to you all. Now get out of here.

We lost a professor
Big news this Monday – erstwhile professor of Torts (and presumably some other things) Craig Scott is off to Parliament Hill to represent the people of Toronto-Danforth. Following in the footsteps of a bevy of other legal professionals, Professor Scott is living the dream – instead of playing by the rules every day like other lawyers, he gets to help make the rules. Congratulations, and watch for slow-moving Senators.

If I may be so presumptuous, I offer the following words of warning to Canada’s newest MP: stay away from the sandwiches in committee meetings, they’re dry. Go for the cookies instead.

We talked about the weather a lot
I’ve never before sat outdoors on St. Patrick’s Day wearing shorts, a Tilley hat, and aviators. This was a positive experience for me. Nor have I ever seen Canadian snowfall fail so completely at accumulating to havoc-wreaking levels. This was disappointing. I refuse to engage in a debate about anthropogenic climate change, so I offer my own explanation: the apocalypse. Some of you may remember my January prediction – based on highly scientific polling – that Earth is going to explode in December. I can only assume that the strange weather patterns we’re experiencing are a direct result of our planet pulling some Hollywood stunt like altering its orbit or axis. Why is nobody else concerned about this?

I can’t possibly hope to mention everything that happened this year, and my deadline is fast approaching, so I’ll just quit now. Nevertheless, I’m confident that once I have a point of comparison next year I’ll be able to say that 2011-12 at Osgoode Hall was a good time, to say the least. And if it turns out that all of the things above constitute “just another year,” then I’m in for quite a ride indeed. Stay unreasonable, Ozzies.