MICHAEL CAPITANO
<Staff Writer>
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. That means this week is traditionally either a happy one for lovey-dovey couples or depressing if you haven’t met a special someone. There are also those of us who are indifferent to it and assert that it’s just another day of the year. Whatever Valentine’s Day means to you, it still can be used as a sweet reminder of spreading joy in the world.
There’s the cynical claim that it is just another “Hallmark holiday” existing for the sole purpose of draining our pockets so that we can prove to the world that we love our significant others. Yet there is nothing wrong per se about this materialistic presentation of love; it’s always nice to be showered with gifts. In my opinion, it becomes a problem when it transforms into an expectation or a monetary value gets attached to it. I’m not against overspending on a gift. For me, though, the sweet thought always precedes what materializes from it. If it ends up costing a lot of money, so be it. But I think it’s the wrong way to go about gift-giving in general when we look for a gift that fits how much we deemed we would spend.
We can take this further though. Being sweet doesn’t cost very much at all! Especially when you’re looking to do something nice for the people you engage with every day. All it takes is a reminder of why you care about them in the first place. It’s as easy as a compliment or a simple gesture; anything that says “I’ve been thinking of you.” For example, in my section (Section B represent), one very lovely lady suggested that we play a cute game to commemorate Valentine’s Day—LoveNotes. It’s simple: take a post-it note, write something sweet and innocent on it, and sneakily drop it off so that when the person finds it, he or she will be pleasantly surprised with a nice message.
The moral behind this, though, is that we don’t need to wait for a day to express our love or give someone a nice compliment. All we need to do is bring a little more positivity with us wherever we move so that the worlds we enter into can shine a little brighter. That’s part of what makes something a home.
Yet, there’s a downside to human psychology. Our brains are wired slightly towards the negative. We’re attuned not to all the things that make life great, that make us enjoy each other’s company, but to things that can potentially cause us harm. We focus on anything that disrupts our current state of being and initially claim it is no good. We’re afraid of change, afraid of being hurt, afraid of being alone. There is nothing wrong with this behaviour. It’s an important response with respect to getting out of harmful situations. But it’s easy to get caught in this cycle. Especially with all the stress in our lives and all the forces tugging on us, we sometimes feel like it would be better just to give up and go back to our old lives. The most confusing part is that we made these choices because we wanted to make our lives better. At the same time, we feel nostalgia for the ostensible constancy of the past. We need to remember, though, that we came here to make a difference, to change people’s lives, to improve our own.
It’s a difficult road. In life, in love, in everything, making ourselves vulnerable is scary and uncomfortable. We’re more comfortable being alone, only having to worry about our own lives, our own troubles; we don’t need to worry about what others think of us. We sink into our own solitude and separate ourselves from the rest of the world. We tend to think that no one else is feeling how we feel. In our loneliness, we become isolated and disconnected. There’s a better alternative though: let’s all work together by setting an example this Valentine’s Day for how we should endeavour to be every day of the year. Not grumpy, but sweet; not closed off, but open and kind. So when you give a gift to anyone this holiday, make it thoughtful—show that person that your worlds are connected or tell them how he or she makes you feel.
Deep down, we all just want to be loved, to feel like we belong, to feel like we make a contribution to someone else’s life. Just tell them! Express how you feel. When someone moves or inspires you, let them know. If you have feelings for someone, confess to them! What do you have to lose? Even if they don’t return the sentiments, they will probably feel good about your kind thoughts. Make them sweets, give them a card or write them a song. Do something they will appreciate and remember. Valentine’s Day is a day that pushes us to the edge, but it’s up to us to take that next step. Or else you might end up like this character in a story I wrote:
“It was the first time music made me cry. With the way her piano resonated in the canals of my skull, I knew what I was hearing was not ordinary. I wanted to meet the woman who was able to play such an eccentric Chopin. It started slowly, like she was winding me up, and then, at once, starting at the tips of my fingers and toes, my whole body began to tingle as I listened to a sound that was energetic, but controlled. I found myself spirited away, riding on musical notes into another person’s life. I rode that golden stream of emotions all the way to her dressing room. And then it stopped. I stood outside, frozen, like I was in a vacuum and my soul had been sucked away. I stood there until the door opened and, in a panic, I quickly hid myself behind a corner as I watched her walk away. What I heard, it continued to bounce around majestically in my mind, but my feelings got stuck when they reached my lips. I couldn’t speak. And so I was left with the sad melody of her footsteps as she left the performance hall.”
Take that step forward instead of hiding behind a wall, even if it’s embarrassing. Because it’s embarrassing, it’s all the sweeter. And so here’s my loving gesture to the special someone in my life for Valentine’s Day:
Ti amo, mia piccola ballerina:
dance upon that magical
stream of whimsy.
Caress the world with
the precious gold
touch of your grace.
Mia bella principessa, every time
you move, you do
la danza dell’amore.
Every time you come near,
I get the chance to breathe
sweeter breaths.
Sei una cascata di ispirazione
that erodes the
roughness of my heart.
Come sei bella!
That’s how beautiful you are.