To begin, the music festival was called “Riotfest”. With a name like that, It’s hard not to draw up visions of crusty punks and black clad anarchists throwing garbage cans through windows and burning copies of the Constitution. In terms of the lineup, it was the musical equivalent of that vision. However, since Riotfest was held on a Sunday, the crowd reacted more like “Hungover-fest”.
Below is a rundown of the main acts of Riotfest:
Andrew W.K.
There is no sense in denying that seeing Andrew WK was the main force that got me out of bed and down to the event last Sunday. Armed with only one backup singer (more of a screamer) and a keyboard (no backing band at all), Andrew WK transformed the muddy grounds of Fort York into a triumphant celebration of all that is ‘party’ and all that is good.
If you know anything about Andrew WK you know that his main objectives in life entire revolve around two things:
1. partying; and
2. piano solos.
I can tell you with complete sincerity and honesty that there were plenty of both. After his set I polled the people around me and every single person agreed that our party messiah had returned, and that our messiah was wearing a dirty t-shirt and acid washed jeans.
Less Than Jake
I don’t write about ska. I leave that to people with thick side burns who wear fedoras and checkered belts. No thanks.
Hot Water Music
I had never really listened to Hot Water Music before…they were alright, I guess. They definitely put some effort into what they were doing, however when you are sandwiched between Less Than Jake and F*cked Up you have to bring a lot more to the table than head banging and matching Orange stacks. I did like their logo, and they did have the best merch at the festival, but you needed another line of credit in order to afford it.
F*cked Up
These local favourites definitely stole the show in my mind. In light of lead singer Damian Abraham’s wedding anniversary, he brought his whole family on stage and then in true F-ed Up fashion he proceeded to take off most of his clothes and scream out harmonic gold.
Although the set was heavy on songs from their most recent album David Comes To Life, F-ed Up tickled the crowd by sprinkling in some deep cuts from albums past. The two highlights definitely were “I Hate Summer” (which couldn’t have been more appropriate, given the setting), and the song that was most likely to cause a riot, “Police”.
I was so compelled to join the mosh pit during “Police” that I completely ruined my new pair of shoes. Needless to say it was worth it, I got to sing onto the mic during the chorus, got a high five from Damian, and only got elbowed in the face once.
NOFX
According to unverified Internet facts, NOFX has over 400 songs and 31 albums. That may seem like a lot, because it is. By far NOFX was the biggest act on the bill. They attracted the biggest crowd, which was diversely made up of people ranging from 14 to 50. Fueled by this crowd, NOFX played hard, had hilarious banter, and generally were the crass unapologetic alcoholics they portray in their albums and lyrics.
The highlight of the NOFX set was the song “She’s Nubs”. The song is about a woman with no legs or arms named Nubs, who actually is a real Torontonian. In fact, she was on stage when they sang the song. Her name is Talli and if you spend any amount of time in the punk scene you will most definitely run into her. Although the song states that “she’s got no funny bone”, the look on her face clarified that the song amuses her and is an homage to a fantastic fan and devoted punk icon.
NOFX were fast, mean, and generally disgusting. I don’t think anyone would have them any other way.
The Descendents
The Descendents are really old. Having formed in 1978, The Descendents played a big part in laying the foundation for modern day punk and hardcore music. After getting off to a rocky start by breaking a string after the first song, and taking the time to replace it on stage, it was clear that the big crowd amassed by NOFX had started to migrate elsewhere. The only people that stuck around seemed to be on the later end of the age spectrum, as it was clear that The Descendents were outside of the collective punk memory shared by the younger generation. Whereas most youngsters choose to associate with the iconography of Black Flag and the noise of Minor Threat, The Descendents can be categorized more as ‘your favourite band’s favourite band’. As an example, Fat Mike (of NOFX) was clearly visible in the wings of the stage mouthing every word (and guzzling down cups of vodka).
Overall their set was solid. However, I found it more suitable as exit music so I left. Soon the thoughts of rioting and old punk bands living like teenagers drifted away, and the reality of the morning class I had the next day settled in its place. As I walked away from the non-riot that was Riotfest I concluded that it was a Sunday well spent and that I was going to have to get a new pair of shoes.