CASS DA RE
<Features Editor>
Overheard at Osgoode:
Person A: How are you?
Person B: Tired. So tired.
Person A: The weather can do that to you.
Okay, I confess. I was Person B. I’m tired, glum, blah, annoyed, dispirited, surly, petulant, sleepy, and cold – always cold. Nevertheless, you will recognize that Person A (who will remain unnamed) was entirely correct. In addition to being tired, I am apparently an epic complainer, chock full of thesaurus-worthy strings of adjectives to describe a single phenomenon: the winter blues.
Normally, as your Happiness Guru, I would provide you with positive, healthy, and thoroughly researched advice. I would root through psychology and sociology articles for inspiration and academic support for my proclamations. But not this week.
This week, even I am fighting the uphill struggle against the indescribable and inevitable ennui that comes with February. When pathetic fallacy is no longer something we learned in Grade 10 English class, but an actual state of being.
There is no scientific cure to dreary days, and in the absence of science, I suggest ridiculousness. In the spirit of absolute absurdity, I have compiled the most creative ways the Internet or I have come up with to beat the blues.
1) Watch videos of cute animals on YouTube and/or look at adorable photos of kittens for hours.
2) Dance in the rain, while everyone is watching. You will be forced to laugh at yourself, and will unavoidably make someone else smile as well.
3) Jazzercise. Need I say more? I don’t, but I will throw in this iconic image to get you inspired: Richard Simmons and short shorts.
4) Draw “things” on snow covered or frosted windows.
5) Wear yellow.
6) Take pictures of yourself with a tropical background.
7) Play flip cup.
8) Treat yourself to absolutely whatever you like.
9) Keep all the lights on in the house.
10) Make it a habit to smell your coffee. Not to be confused with smelling your coffee server, which would be weird.
11) Rub orange peels on your wrists.
12) Take Vitamin D drops while wearing sunglasses and a bathing suit.
13) Re-decorate using happy colours.
14) Only use happy-coloured highlighters.
15) Get soft serve ice cream.
16) First, find someone who has a fireplace. Second, make a fire.
17) Have hot chocolate with marshmallows, whipped cream, AND sprinkles, just because.
18) Wear red and green plaid while it’s still seasonally acceptable. Who doesn’t love plaid?
19) Try hot yoga. Alternatively, bring your mat to school for a mid-day break.
20) Make Mexican food and margaritas.
21) Stay in bed.
22) Go skating while you still can.
23) Chop firewood. Then go back to #16.
24) Eat expensive chocolate.
25) Build an igloo.
26) Try ice fishing.
27) Laugh. Stop by a comedy club for help.
28) Leave your house at least once a day.
29) Make a snow angel (no religious connotation intended).
30) Invest in a wall-size TV. Then, buy a DVD that simulates the sun rising. Play this clip on an endless loop.
31) Bake pies.
32) Help the homeless; maybe give them pie.
33) In all seriousness, donate winter clothes.
34) Make up a dance every time you take some Vitamin B (also, take Vitamin B).
35) Watch the movie Cool Runnings.
36) Eat cheddar and swiss cheese, which can release serotonin.
37) Eat the aforementioned with whole wheat bread, which can also produce serotonin.
38) Google “serotonin.”
39) Watch less news, particularly to avoid the weather forecast.
40) Wear a grass skirt around the house; it’s both breezy and festive.