CASS DA RE
<Features Editor>
You have been on that dinner date, with that person. This person reads the delectable deep fried toppings on the house burger, and then he/she orders a salad. You helpfully offer sound advice such as “It’s just one cheeseburger,” “Take half to-go,” and “Just get a small serving of fries.” The other person shakes his/her head wistfully, heart heavy with restraint and puritanical resolve. He/she murmurs something about watching what he/she eats, being on a paleo, clean, raw food, gluten-free, Atkins, juice cleanse, insert other dietary regime here, kick. You, being the supportive friend or date, nod understandably and respect his/her choice. It’s commendable that your dinner companion is committed to stick with this new health plan, especially since you ordered a particularly gluttonous meal.
The burger and fries and chef’s salad with dressing on the side comes. Your meal is not that satisfying, because the other person has taken three very large bites of your not-made-for-two sandwich and has eaten half your fries under the guise of taking “just one.” You leave the restaurant bewildered, confused, hungry, and possibly hangry. What was the point of the other person’s big pre-dinner speech, if he/she really just wanted to indulge? He/she spent the rest of the meal rationalizing and justifying the burger bites, there was something about a treadmill and the power of protein in there. This results in a stream of consciousness guilt trip for him/her, forcing you to politely listen to an uncomfortable and boring monologue. Shouldn’t he/she have just bitten the bullet and bought the burger? Your happiness guru resoundingly says yes.
The burger here is obviously a clever metaphor worthy of some literary prize. Sometimes the object of one’s desire really is something deep-fried or sugary. You may also insert: drinking, sleeping, a night out, a night in, a night with someone, a night alone, or a night off. As responsible law students, we eat our vegetables, save drinking for post-exam bashes, and stay at home, the coffee shop, or library to study, read, write, or format. At least, that’s always our well-intentioned plan.
Much like the dinner date that waxes on about the benefits of clean eating (which there are, and this is, in no way, a knock against one’s individual lifestyle choices), the law student will explain why he/she needs to dedicate time to doing X on Friday night. X is always something productive, likely work or law school related, laudable, and unlikely to be accomplished by even the most diligent of worker bees. This law student steadfastly goes home with unwavering loyalty to begin and finish task X. Inevitably, after a long week – and, in March, they are all long weeks – this student is tired and overworked. Despite the most honest ambitions in the Western world, this student gives up for the night. He/she retires to a couch, bed, chaise, loveseat, futon, oversized armchair, mattress on the floor, or yoga mat feeling unaccomplished, guilty, deflated, disappointed and crestfallen. This well-deserved down time cannot be enjoyed while he/she sits/lays under a dark cloud of broken dreams and dashed expectations.
What’s the point of rehashing a bitter experience that every law student goes through (usually much more often than any of us care to admit)? From the perspective of your Happiness Guru, the point is that this behaviour isn’t healthy, isn’t helping, and isn’t making anyone any happier.
As an alternative, I suggest just giving in. Have the cookie; if not, your whole life becomes about the cookie and the notions of refusal, denial, and resistance that it elicits. These are unproductive and negative feelings that induce sentiments of guilt, blameworthiness, weakness, and regret. Instead, give in, indulge, enjoy, and give yourself permission to be human and happy. Know that you have listened to your body, satisfied your soul, and are in better headspace for it. Then, when all is said and done, move on. Come back to ground zero, and revisit those original plans of studying.
As famously expressed in The Shining: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Ignore the gender-specific reference, and focus on the underlying proverbial message. To avoid a descent into madness in a creepy hotel, or, more realistically, to avoid the potentially crushing pressures of the month before exams, have fun. More importantly, let go of the guilt, give in to the moment, and then move on to something more work related in a healthier and happier state of mind.