ANGIE SHEEP
<Arts & Culture Editor>
My night class, which should have ended at 10pm, ended nearly half an hour late. As people quickly filtered out of the room, eager to get home, I stood up and marched out slowly; my bus had already departed and it was uncertain when the next one would be. This meant that I wouldn’t arrive home until 11:30pm since I live downtown. On the entire way home, my annoyance level kept increasing, but this frustration eventually gave me my “eureka!” moment.I realized that this was only the beginning – a late night finish is quite common in the legal profession. At the same time, I realized that this is not what I want for the rest my life. I realized life doesn’t have to be so exhausting, demanding or complicated if I decide it so. I, therefore, am currently on the mission to simplify my life and have been putting into practice advice from all kinds of sources – family, friends, strangers, the Internet. And it’s actually given me so much relief and joy as a result. So in this issue, my challenge to you is to take steps to have a less complicated life; it’s definitely doable and luckily, it’s all within your control.
Figure out exactly what you want
What exactly do you want? Are you doing the things that will take you there? The answers to these questions are extremely difficult as life is full of distractions. In a world where there’s constant stimulation, noise, and advertising to dictate what you should want, it’s hard to self-reflect on this matter. But you must. In order to figure out how to simplify your life you must decide what is most important to you – family? Money? Prestige? Love? A great friend in psychology and education asked me this question a few weeks ago and at the time, I was at a complete loss. I eventually answered that I would really like a job because I need an income. However, as he replied, you never just have money for the sake of having money; it’s a means to an end. That’s what really got me thinking and on my way home from my prolonged lecture, I finally figured something out. I knew that I love traveling and most of my income will certainly go towards funding that, but the way I am headed, there will hardly be any time left for it. Two weeks vacation will never be enough; it’s time to make a change, go on a different path. What do you love?
Give Your Most “Importants” Your Best
In figuring out what you want, you are likely to also discover what’s most important to you. For many, it’s family, significant others and/or friends. But if they are absolutely the most important “things” we have in our lives, then why are we always giving them our second best? Third best? Or worse? I find it ironic that we don’t give our best to the people we value the most. Instead we choose to stay at school or at the office longer and go home and face them after we’re completely spent. Although they may be very supportive and understanding, even those who care for you most will be fed up if their love goes unreciprocated. I know that I want to travel endlessly (thus I need to get a job), but when I envision myself gallivanting around the world, I see somebody else beside me; I am not alone nor do I want to enjoy all the great things in life alone. Therefore, I should make the most effort in retaining the “things” that are most important to me, and give them my best; because they are simply that – the most important.
Believe that everything usually turns out just fine
Life becomes unnecessarily complicated when we choose to hold on to the little annoyances or grudges that bring us down. So just let go, especially of the things that you have little or no control over. Focus on what you can change or do. The other stuff will seem trivial in a matter of days or weeks. It’s important to reflect on what you can do better or differently, but to obsess over and tirelessly replay what you should or could have done will only bring more stress. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.
Be a peacemaker, not a troublemaker
We are presented with so many situations where we can choose to be helpful and kind or just a pain in the butt. When you opt to create trouble or drama, it simply lowers your own quality of life because the consequences of that are likely to harass you in the future. It may also demean your reputation and lead to further misunderstandings. So it’s more beneficial for you to be the bigger person, and this will often be followed by appreciation and admiration. If you don’t have anything nice to say, revert to peaceful silence.
Laugh, that is all
There can never be too much laughter in life. It has been shown to effectively reduce stress levels and elevate moods and life outlook. If you suddenly realize that you don’t laugh as much or as wholeheartedly as before, something is wrong. We all go through stressful stages in life (100% exams anyone?) but laughter becomes an even more important component in these times. So find something that brings you joy and never let it up. It’s much easier when you can laugh through these times.
No one else was put on this planet to make you happy
It is so easy to place responsibility on others to bring you happiness by doing or saying certain things, but this often leads to blame and resentment when they fail to do so. I’m not sure what gives way to this sense of entitlement but it’s time for an attitude change. I am also guilty of this and have been trying to replace expectation with appreciation. Whatever someone else does that results in your increased joy should not be mindlessly overlooked. And if there is a person who brings you abundant joy (lucky you!), try to avoid getting into a habit of then expecting it. For example, I love having the bed made. For some reason, it gives me a sense of serenity and order in my life. My boyfriend, on the other hand, cannot seem to grasp this concept; his excuse is that we’re going to be sleeping in it again (whatever). However, he’s been making the bed for my sake though there are still odd days where he is too lazy to do it and it takes every ounce of me to not get angry. However (after counting to a hundred), I then recognize that he does this only for me, so I should attend to and appreciate the effort he makes rather than when he fails to do so. This concept seems so simple yet it’s always neglected, especially in times of annoyance. But remember, a positive reward tends to lead to repetition of the act (Pavlov’s dogs right?).
It’s hard to have a simple and uncomplicated life, but it’s not impossible. I hope these tips will help you in meeting that mission. And once you start that effort, the rest seems to fall into place just fine.