5 Follow-Up Tips After the First Date
For those of you who recently participated in the legal dog and pony show that we like to call “OCIs,” I extend a tip of the hat to you all for such a dedicated effort toward your future careers – however masochistic it might be. One can only hope now that the summer months spent personalizing those cover letters with a level of detail that would make a stalker proud, and reordering the hobbies on your resume to really highlight your talent for beer pong finally pay off in the weeks to come. The date is over, you can change back into your favourite sweats with the hole in the crotch and sit back with a bag of Doritos while you wait for your betrothed to call. But no, wait. It’s not over yet. Despite bringing your perfect A-game and wooing the interviewers off their feet, you need to put the chips down, get off that couch, and get your ass back to work! There is no rest for the weary in the game of love, and there is certainly none to be had here in law school. So with that said, allow me the pleasure of potentially wasting the next five minutes of your day with some salient advice that has never led me astray where it concerns matters of the heart. I’m sure it applies equally to law firms.
1. Text or call the very next day.
Let’s not take this one too literal since anything beyond a quick email could likely confirm you as a potential candidate for a restraining order in the eyes of your interviewer. Unless you were able to bond over martinis and glasses of wine after the interview, it might seem suspect to be calling them at their weekend cabin to express your gratitude for having “taken the time to meet with you.” The general rule: always send a quick email thanking the interviewers as soon as possible after the interview. Be sure to personalize the message so that multiple notes to different lawyers within the same firm do not sound the same. You were taking notes during the interview, right?
2. Once you’ve secured the second date, do a little research.
Did someone say research? Yes, seize your moment my lovely gunners, load up Google, and fly my pretties, fly, fly! Find out who you will be meeting with and learn about them as much as possible. What area of law do they practice? What is their favourite hobby? What blood type is their second-born son? Now is not the time to hold back your super-sleuthing skills. You want them to know that when shit really hits the fan, you are their Kalinda Sharma. Not only will you spot that rogue comma that saves them millions of dollars, but you’ll be able to tell them exactly which area of the world the trees were harvested from to make the paper it was printed on. Relevant? Probably not. Impressive? Absolutely. Knowledge is power and the more you have, the better equipped you are to shape your second date into an experience that will leave them wanting you more.
3. Take things slow and enjoy getting to know each other.
It’s easy to get caught up in the overwhelming drama that the OCI process creates. After all, from everything you’ve led yourself to believe, it only involves the most important decision you could ever possibly make about the entire future of your career. (Now forgive me, but as an aside I must call shenanigans on this line of thinking. If for no other reason than to question the ludicrous assumption that a student should be in the position to make such lofty decisions after only eight months of sampling the appetizers from the legal buffet that is 1L. It’s like expecting to find pistachios in your trail mix; everyone knows that the best flavours of anything are never found in the variety packs!) But I digress. Getting back to the salient issue at hand, there is no urgency to jump straight to marriage proposals at this point. However, that being said, as with potential mates, there is no shortage of firms with self-esteem issues. You just might find yourself with the memories of that overly-awkward teenager you dated back in high school who secretly needed to hear you say the L-word. So if the moment hits and it feels right, go ahead and give them the confidence boost that they so desperately desire. Just make sure you phrase it as “you are my number one choice,” and not anything else.
4. Be positive and fun when you’re together.
It can be reasonably assumed that someone who trash talks their ex on a date will likely speak the same way of you after you part ways. So don’t speak ill of the other suitors who turned down your advances, and don’t complain about how “it’s not you, it’s them.” Remember, the interviewer actually wants to like you since it makes things easier for them. Remain on your best behaviour and don’t ever give them reasons to doubt your integrity because you’re far classier than that. Everything that comes out of your mouth ought to leave the interviewers believing that not only are you the cat’s pajamas or the bee’s knees, but that nothing but sunshine comes shooting out your buttocks. One of the best ways to ensure that you exude positive energy during this time is to limit your contact with other stressed out students. I would venture to say that Fight Club rules apply here. The first rule of in-firms is that you do not talk about in-firms. Unless it’s with your therapist or CDO counselor.
5. Listen to your date.
Most of us feel as though we need to impress the object of our attention by highlighting our greatest accomplishments in life. After all, you are trying to sell yourself, and what better way to do that than to spend an hour bragging about how utterly marvelous you are? But remember what I said about those self-esteem issues back in tip #3? There’s a careful balance you’ll need to strike between stroking your own ego and stroking theirs. Pay attention to your date. Do they look bored or are you laughing and exchanging stories of the good old times in undergrad where each of you found yourself drunk and naked one night with a barricade of police cars on either end of the bridge? Be sure to ask questions that show you are genuinely interested and looking to engage with them. I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir here, but generally speaking, people love to talk about themselves, especially when they have an attentive listener. Just be sure not to ask cliché questions – instead of looking thoughtful and charming you’ll come off as anxious and desperate. Ain’t nothing sexy or desirable about that.
And there you have it. I can’t guarantee that by following any of these tips you will secure the love of your life, or even a summer articling position. In fact, I would dare to say quite the opposite. But at the very least I hope that I’ve managed to pull you out from the madness of this process for just long enough to see it for what it is and have a good laugh. Because in the end, all work and no play makes Jack a bitter law student. So relax, make it fun, and you’ll have a successful second date.