From Vulvas to Butt-Sex

For the first time since the Spice Girls reigned supreme, Ontario’s students through grades one to eight will have a new Health and Physical Education curriculum. On 23 February the new curriculum was released. It details learning correct terms for body parts in grade one, different sexual orientations and gender identities in grade three, masturbation in grade six, and oral sex, anal sex, and sexting in grade seven. Education Minister Liz Sandals has stated multiple times that this curriculum will remain unchanged. Much like 2010, when the McGuinty government eventually withdrew plans to update the curriculum with regard to an upcoming election, the new curriculum is not without detractors.

Are children ready to learn about rape and consenting to sex at the age of six or seven? Probably not, perhaps definitely not. But that’s not what this curriculum will teach. It lays a foundation of understanding that everyone has agency and that their body is their own. This isn’t grounded in sexuality; it is grounded in what it means to be an autonomous, self-determining person. And to the detractors worried about “graphic homosexual content,” different sexual orientations and gender identities are two of several “invisible differences” that are to be discussed with third grade students. Under the laws of Ontario, we must treat everyone with respect. To ignore the existence of the LGBTQ community would be discriminatory and counter to the law.

There are parents who are concerned that this curriculum is being forced on their children, that they have no say in how their children are being taught about sex, or that they are being completely removed from their children’s sexual education. These are legitimate (but misplaced) concerns, and although children aren’t in anywhere in my near future, I understand their worries. On one hand, I firmly believe society is incredibly misguided in its treatment of sexuality and that things would be a lot better if we lived in a sex-positive society. However, no matter how much I disagree with what they decide to teach, it’s still a parent’s right to influence their children’s values based on their own values, culture, and religious beliefs.

Their objections are nonetheless misguided. The new Health and Physical Education curriculum is in no way being “forced” into the minds of students. Parents are permitted to remove their children from any or all parts of the sexual education curriculum (as has been the case for quite some time). Secondly, this is a curriculum that was created by a democratically elected government in consultation with four thousand chairs of parent councils. These chairs of parent councils were also democratically elected and represent schools from across the province. So to say that no one except Kathleen Wynne and the orgy-loving liberals had a say in the new curriculum is completely inaccurate.

Finally, it is the role of the school system to educate, not encourage. Teaching students what bananas are is not the same as encouraging them to eat bananas; teaching students that a penis is a penis, a vagina is a vagina, and how to roll a condom on a banana is not the same as encouraging them to have sex. The same can be said of the inclusion of education on anal and oral sex. The curriculum includes guidelines on how to engage in sexual activities safely. It is an acknowledgement that some students will want to engage in these activities. The curriculum clearly indicates that students should seek advice from trusted adults such as parents, their doctor, or religious leaders. The beliefs and values that a child learns from their community will inevitably be a part of their decision-making process when the time comes for them to consider sexual activity. The new curriculum, like all other curriculums, provides facts and nothing more.

The new curriculum is a severely needed update to what was previously in place. That said, I still have concerns. The education around sexting appears to revolve around teaching students to not do it and that it’s a dangerous activity which could lead to serious consequences. There is a focus on bullying and harassment which includes discussions on sexting and why it’s inappropriate to share pictures you have been sent or to coerce someone into sending pictures. But there doesn’t appear to be any inclusion of why a student may choose to sext, and the idea of consent in online sexual activity is severely lacking. Students need to be completely informed in order to have sufficient decision-making tools for all aspects of their sexual lives, including online communications. There also is no mention of asexuality or polyamory, but maybe I’m expecting too much too soon.

A central aspect of sexuality which I think is almost entirely lacking in the new curriculum is that engaging in sexual activities might actually be fun. Does it go beyond teaching students solely about abstinence, date-rape, STIs, and unwanted pregnancy? Yes, and that’s awesome. But sex isn’t just something that might result in pregnancy or disease. It can be body-centered and solely for the purpose of making your body feel good, or person-centered and for the purpose of connecting with another person (or other persons). It can be a way of showing love, a way to relieve stress, or a way to try something new. As long as no one is suffering harm and it’s consensual, (legal) sex can be whatever you want it to be.

I understand the concern that telling students that sex is something that people engage in for fun may have the effect of encouraging students to have sex themselves.  But I see it as a way of ensuring that students are completely informed when thinking about having sex and understanding if they’re ready or not.  Instructing a student that sex can be something that is done for pleasure is not the same thing as saying that it’s something they ought to do.  It’s telling them that when they’re ready, they aren’t acting inappropriately if they do want to engage in sexual activities purely for pleasure.  That people have sex for fun is a fact, same as the fact that some people choose to wait until marriage or until they are in a committed relationship to have sex and others don’t.  If a person is ready to have sex but not a child, that’s ok; if they aren’t married or in a committed relationship but are still ready and want to have sex, that’s ok too.

I do not have children, maybe I never will.  We’ll see.  But I might someday, and I want my children and all other children to have an education that fosters sex-positivity, body-acceptance, consent and respect for others.  We all deserve to live in a society that is full of respect and acceptance.  The new Health and Physical Education curriculum isn’t perfect but it is a leap in the right direction which the province’s children desperately needed.