A Story of Decisions and Revelations
I’ve known my friend Taylor since grade ten. Even back then, he had a reputation around the school as one of the kindest, most approachable people you’d ever meet. Intelligent and charismatic, with the looks of a young Leonardo DiCaprio, Taylor had an easy-going magnetism about him, along with an uncanny affinity for human empathy that I have always envied. When we graduated, no one was surprised when he was chosen as Valedictorian.
When we entered our pre-med program at Western, Taylor maintained his role as a model student in the midst of a tense, competitive environment. In addition to taking on the responsibilities of an orientation leader, he also served with me on the University Student Council. There, he helped bring about sweeping policy changes, setting the foundations for a student wellness clinic, which still thrives to this day.
On the surface, Taylor was the same golden boy. But beneath the façade, his life had taken on a very different narrative.
For years, Taylor had waged a secret war, unknown to all but those closest to him. Day by day, he fought against his inner demons, all the while straining to live up to the expectations placed upon him by others. Though he appeared to be the same happy-go-lucky guy, every day was turning into a struggle for him. Every smile, every kindness, took more and more effort. His gift for human empathy began to self-cannibalize, leaving him resentful, distrustful, and above all, vulnerable.
At last, he’d hit rock bottom, Taylor found himself in a mire of depression and drug abuse. In his eyes, he’d become everything he’d hated. This plagued him to no end. He spent entire days brooding; utterly paralyzed by the invisible weight he carried in his mind. At times, all he could feel was a sense of loneliness, as his life was overtaken by an all-consuming, nihilistic apathy.
He could have ended it there. Even now, I shudder to think about it. Fortunately, he chose not to.
On 19 August, Taylor did one of the bravest things I’ve ever witnessed. Through his writing, he revealed his secret struggle to the world. He exposed it all: the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, the sessions with the therapists and the experience of being medicated. He did this, not just to relieve the burden he bore, but also to help others like him— others, who were suffering in silence, desperately wishing to reach out for help, yet unable to bring themselves to do so.
The response was overwhelmingly positive, to say the least. Far from caving into the stigma that surrounds mental illness, support flooded in from every direction. It was a revelation for many— this was whole new side to a person they thought they knew. Most could hardly believe it, that someone like him could have ever been depressed. In pulling apart the curtains that had clouded his life, Taylor started a conversation about something rarely discussed, something that had been hidden in the shadows for far too long.
I’m sure many of you can relate to what Taylor had gone through. I know I can. Needless to say, the life of a law student is hectic. We live in a culture where being stressed is a badge of honor, where competition is palpable, where every day we are incentivized to win the rat race. A study from Yale has shown that at least thirty percent of law students are afflicted with some form of mental illness. This is something that must not be ignored.
With Osgoode’s Mental Health Awareness Week imminent, there really is no better time to bring this issue to the forefront. For the sake of your own wellness, and the quality of your education, I ask that you please spend some time to reflect, not only upon yourself, but the other people in your life. Seek help. Offer support. Judge not. Let us reach solidarity through our shared struggles, and shine a light on the issue of mental illness. No one should have to suffer alone.
Today, Taylor is doing much better. He is now the co-founder of a London-based fashion company. In his spare time, Taylor works at the same wellness clinic he started all those years ago, helping students get through their most stressful moments, whilst stomping out the stigma surrounding mental illnesses. And although his trials and tribulations are far from over, Taylor has, with the support of his family and friends, gained a newfound strength of both character and spirit. He now faces the world, liberated.