For anyone who heard about this last year and was desperately missing sage advice this year…
Welcome to another Ostrology Column.
Look for more in the coming weeks.
Aries
Indecision and indiscretion abounds. You find yourself wondering “why”, and then, “why not?” It is a ramshackle time of year for you. Make sure to temper your indiscretion with moderate amounts of humility. As you will most likely end up looking the fool, you might as well minimize the impact by not boasting about anything before you are cut to shreds.
Taurus
Your stubbornness will serve you well in the next month as you plow forward with already-made plans that – let’s just face it – are too late to change now.
You’re in a rut and you ought to just smooth out the rough edges until it feels more like a groove, and then run that until you run out of road. You have a long way to go, so you might as well keep your head down and keep going for as long as you can.
Gemini
As always, you have two types of feelings about the way things are going, but this time they seem to be a little more in harmony. On the one hand, things seem kind of terrible and not very much fun at all. On the other hand, things seem downright awful and really couldn’t get much worse. Each feeling persists until the other half snaps around and you remember that no matter how terrible things seem right now, they can always get worse. Really, even if it feels like an 1800’s dentist is pulling teeth every day of every week for months on end – things can always get worse.
After thinking about the fact that things can always get worse you will come around to settling in with the awful feeling, but somehow it will feel more natural. Embrace this gut-wrenching feeling of despair. It will be your companion for years to come.
Cancer
Wow, what a name for an astrological symbol. No one likes cancer. I mean it’s the plague of the century, and right now you’re beginning to feel the same. The feelings of warm comradery are dissipating and you begin to feel like a pariah. Stay away from social events, avoid groups and outings. My suggestion is to live a hermit-like existence, only coming out into sunlight to forage for necessary nutrition before retreating back into your hovel, taking your consumption of chocolate as your only solace.
Leo
Now is your time to roar. Others have been surrounding you with arguments that – let’s face it – are just plain stupid. Just because it’s being said by an accredited individual doesn’t make the words automatically awesome. Clever people can have dumb ideas too, and not all thought experiments work out. It’s time to make your highly-opinionated comments heard loud and clear. If you hear something moronic, then it’s time to call a spade a spade.
Virgo
Your honesty and integrity are being highly tested right now. You are trying too hard to maintain a standard that is not being kept by your peers. You have studied and learned about professional standards, and you are appalled at how far from that ideal your colleagues really are. It’s frustrating and you don’t know what to do. You don’t want to be seen as a prude. So don’t! It’s time to shut up for once and let others walk off whatever cliff they feel like. It really isn’t your problem. Don’t make it your problem. Be true to yourself and let the others rot for all you care.
Libra
Balancing your inner self with the others around you will be difficult for the next month. You would be well-advised to focus on what you want, with blatant disregard for what anyone else thinks. Stay true to yourself and focus on what you want. You may want to keep some of it to yourself, lest you become an insufferable scourge to anyone around you, but ultimately what they think is unimportant. Enjoy yourself as much as you can, and don’t give a hoot for anything else.
Scorpio
There’s a reason for the sting. Time to use it to defy your opponents. There’s a lot of competition around you and you will be well-advised to stay on guard. Never lower your defences, even for a moment. This is a month to be wary and especially cautious. Above all, stay alert.
Sagittarius
This month you will be outstanding, mostly in front of pubs trying to get in if you didn’t show up early enough to be covered. Just make sure not to get too chilled before you are enjoying an icy brew once you finally clear security. It is cold and flu season, after all.
Aquarius
You have a long way to go. Time to gear down and motor on. There is nothing but grit and determination that will serve you now. There is a light up ahead, but you may not want to go toward it. I mean, that’s what moths do, silly. So, I would suggest more of the mindless going-around-in-circles that perpetuates much of society. It will keep you going for now, and really, now is all you need.
Pisces
Good time to be underwater this month. Swimming around, biting your own tail. It’ll keep you off of others’ backs. There is a lot of hostility now and staying out of it altogether sounds like a great idea. Go to the pool. Have a swim. Clear your head. Most importantly, keep your cool. Best to just let things slide for right now. It will all blow over in a couple of months, right before it starts up again.
Have fun, and be nice to each other.