TORONTO, ON – Reports now show that Trevor Redding, a local 3L student, has realized that he has become completely mired in law school culture. Sources are now saying that Redding has passed the point of no return, and that all future interactions with those outside of the legal community are doomed to failure.
The tipping point came last Friday. While attending a party with his undergraduate friends, the subject turned to Don Cherry’s departure from Hockey Night in Canada. Explaining the story to a friend, Redding said that “Cherry had finally been disbarred”.
It was this last word that alerted Redding to just how far gone he had become.
Amidst confused expressions and gentle ribbing from his peers, Redding spent the rest of the evening staring at a blank wall. His life amongst the general public was now over; he had changed too much.
Redding realized that he now shared next to nothing with the plebians of the world. Never again could he and his friends complain about jury duty. No longer could he go to a friend’s house for dinner unless they could push it back until 9:30. Any attempt to converse with these blessed simpletons would be met with blank stares as he used obscure jargon like “res judicata” or “theft”.
Rallying himself, Redding resolved to take another stab at being relatable. It was all or nothing; this was the turning point in his life where he had to decide whether or not to cut all ties from the mortal world.
At the mention of how his friend Sharon was seeing a new partner, Redding saw fit to ask, “Oh, are they Junior or Equity?”
Redding saw himself to the door.