If you saw Cats (2019), a pending class action lawsuit may affect you
Are you a lover of film, musical theatre, cats, or Jason Derulo? Do you love them all and spend your days seeking an amalgamation that will quench your aching thirst for all four? Are you simply a lover of decency, good taste, and well-rendered CGI?
If you or a loved one was exposed to CATS (2019, dir. Tom Hooper) expecting one or more of these things, you may have witnessed a number of bewildering and confounding song-and-dance numbers that may entitle you to compensation. The film, depicting a contest between alley cats to decide who amongst them will be chosen to ascend to the mysterious Heavyside Layer, includes the following numbers:
- A showcase by the “Old Gumbie Cat” (Rebel Wilson) – dancing on a large kitchen counter, a large orange cat dances with a troupe of human-faced cockroaches, slurping them up as easily as a Whiskas treat. The cat then unzips her fur, revealing another set of fur beneath it, in a scene reminiscent of Hellraiser.
- In a scene which combines the cruel punishments of Dante’s Inferno with the sloppiest and most gratuitous mukbang videos from the depths of Youtube, Bustopher Jones (James Corden) struts around an alley while gorging himself on giant turkey legs and other choice cuts from the garbage bin. He eventually gets flushed down a giant pipe, but not before lasting psychological damage has been inflicted upon audiences.
- Regular cats can infect people with a certain kind of parasitic worm that can burrow its way into the host’s brain and drive them crazy. Mister Mistofelees is one of those cats. His parasite comes in the form of an annoyingly catchy song, one I haven’t been able to get out of my head for weeks. Often I’ll find myself humming to it in the subway, in the shower, or while I scrounge for expired foods in the dumpster of my local Loblaws.
- Viewers who were unprepared to see Macavity (Idris Elba) strip off all his clothes may be entitled to additional compensation. Despite being fit and handsome, Elba’s nude body covered in cat fur makes him look more like that pesky sleep paralysis demon that haunts you every morning at 3 AM. There were few scenes in this film that were as shocking or bewildering as this one.
- Grizabella (Jennifer Hudson) is alright. She’s just sad and wants some treats and a belly rub. She also sings Memory, which is the one gem in this hairball of a movie.
Exposure to some or all of these songs may have put you at risk to your mental health.
Please do not wait. Call our paw offices now for a free consultation.