Scofflaw Pt. II

S

From the Case Log of Sydney Scofflaw, Osgoode Student

So maybe that stuff over the summer was a bit of bad luck; transporting to everywhere where my actions would be criminal. Took a bit of explaining, but I managed to get out of trial cleared of all charges. (Don’t ask about the horse.)

But maybe…maybe that means there’s another way around it. If I can get the machine to actually work the other way around–transport people to places where what they’re doing isn’t a crime.

My name is Sydney Scofflaw, and the first thing you need to know is that my grandfather’s name was actually Sokolov. They changed it when they came into the country in the early 1930s, and wouldn’t you know it, there was a perfectly good word available…

My grandfather could be funny like that.

But “scofflaw” has an interesting history behind it. It was actually created for a nationwide competition in the US, back in the 20s. (Not these 20s, of course, but hey, maybe it’s a good time to bring it back.) Two folks from across the country split the prize money for creating a word for people who flouted Prohibition.

But scofflaws were working against a system newly put in place. Some thought it was ridiculous. Some recognized that it was plenty corrupt anyway, bottles delivered fresh to the White House by bootleggers and all that. Some took advantage of others’ greed. My old friend Jane, her grandparents actually legged it across from Canada delivering goods to welcome arms on the other side of the border.

And if they’d moved ten years later, or ten years earlier, their crimes would have been not only forgivable but not crimes at all.

Of course, that’s a thing in our system. Laws can be applied retroactively. But what happens if they were?

I tried an experiment. I had the helmet. I set a timer going so I could jump back to 1987, when my aunt was arrested for attempting to duel a fellow university student. And I pulled her and her intended combatant through the time stream, gave them a weapon of choice, and said, “Go.”

Because duelling, while previously illegal under Section 71 of the Criminal Code (since 1833), has been repealed and is now allowed–provided you don’t use a deadly weapon.

I have to say, laughing at my aunt bonking someone with a rubber chicken probably wasn’t the most orthodox, but at least they got it out of their system…apparently too well. The other woman is now, it appears, my aunt.

I wonder what’ll happen when I bring my great-great-grandfather forward and tell him witchcraft is legal again…

About the author

Josef Wolanczyk
By Josef Wolanczyk

Monthly Web Archives