The Disaster Artists

T

How the Toronto Maple Leafs managed to outdo themselves yet again

Last Monday, the Toronto Maple Leafs and Ottawa Senators renewed acquaintances for the 150th meeting of the “Battle of Ontario”, with the two teams on polar opposite ends of the NHL Standings.

The Maple Leafs entered the game with the league’s best record of 11-3-1, pacing the rest of the NHL with 23 points. They had gotten off to one of the best starts in franchise history, surpassed only by the 1993-94 campaign when they won each of their first 10 games and a few seasons which pre-date World War II. After coming achingly close in recent years through multiple heart-breaking Game 7 losses to the Boston Bruins, the sense of optimism was slowly starting to creep in for Leafs Nation that this might finally be the year the team took the next step into becoming a Stanley Cup contender.

The Senators, on the other hand, took the ice with a record of 3-12-1: good for dead last among all 31 NHL teams with a lowly seven points. Many in Ottawa anticipated the Senators would struggle this season, as the team is currently in the midst of a full-blown rebuild. But the expectation was that the team they sent out on the ice would at least put up some kind of fight. Entering the game, the Senators ranked last in wins (3), 29th in goals per game (2.13), last in goals against per game (4.00), last in goal differential (-30), and had just endured a nine-game losing streak, the longest in the league.

Through almost two full periods, the game went exactly as expected. Led by star forwards Auston Matthews and Mitch Marner, Toronto’s offensive firepower was simply too much for Ottawa to handle. The Leafs’ young stars punished Ottawa’s porous defence and had their way with backup goaltender Marcus Hogberg, statistically the league’s worst net-minder with a save percentage of .859% and a goals-against-average of 4.23, which rank last in both categories among 48 qualifying goaltenders.

With one minute remaining in the second period, the Senators were showing zero signs of life as Matthews potted his second goal of the night.

The score: Toronto 5, Ottawa 1.

If you know anything about the Toronto Maple Leafs, and I mean anything, you have probably figured out why I’m even talking about this game because you know what happened next.

After handing Ottawa a shorthanded goal with 9 seconds remaining in the second period courtesy of a horrific giveaway by Leafs captain John Tavares, the Senators made it 5-2. Less than a minute into the third period Ottawa scored again after killing off a Leafs power play to cut the gap to 5-3. By this point, the existential dread of Leafs fans had begun to kick in. They had seen this movie too many times before.

After Leafs goaltender Frederik Andersen conceded another in short order, Evgenii Dadonov would tie the game at 5-5, before completing the comeback himself on a breakaway in overtime.

Final Score: Ottawa 6, Toronto 5 (OT).

Despite having a win probability of 99.97%, The Maple Leafs managed to create a masterpiece of disaster in yet another collapse of epic proportions. Their fans (and haters), were treated to a brand new addition to the club’s collection of self-capitulating moments which they’ve tallied over the course of their storied 104-year history.

After the game, the players and coaching staff of the organization used the same tired and PR-manufactured quotes they had used in previous losses, such as “it was just one game”.

As cliché as those statements are, they’re technically true. Even the greatest teams in history have had “off” nights. And if you woke up Tuesday morning, you would see the Maple Leafs were still in first place in the National Hockey League.

But these kinds of losses aren’t just “one game” for the Maple Leafs. This isn’t even close to the most embarrassing loss in franchise history. Games like this happen on a regular basis because this is who the Maple Leafs are.

Less than 20 games ago, Toronto blew a 3-0 lead to lose 4-3 in overtime.

Less than 30 games ago, they played a team that needed to use the Maple Leafs’ own Zamboni driver as their goaltender, and still lost.

The back-to-back Game 7 playoff losses to the Bruins and the fabled “It was 4-1” collapse from 2013.

The Toronto Maple Leafs do not simply lose. They lose in such spectacular fashion they have turned it into their own art form. The levels of futility have reached a point where they’ve become impressive.

The humiliating loss they suffered to the Senators is in their DNA. It’s been there since the repugnant Harold Ballard took control of the team in the 60s and it has continued to haunt the team decades after Ballard and his cartoonish levels of villainy have stopped plaguing the franchise as its owner. Not even the presence of future Hall of Famers like Joe Thornton can seem to fix this cursed team.

The truth is, however, that this was just one regular season game for the Maple Leafs. Because this Maple Leafs will be defined by how they perform in the playoffs.

You don’t have to go far to have someone remind you that the Leafs haven’t won the Stanley Cup since 1967. If they fail to win hockey’s holy grail this year, they’ll surpass the New York Rangers for the longest championship drought in league history, going on 55 years. But forget winning the Cup: that requires the Leafs to win four playoff series, and they’ve failed to win even one since 2004. An entire generation of fans the Charlie Brown to the Leafs’ Lucy, deprived of even a shred of success.

It will not matter if, in response to this game, the Leafs proceed to dominate the rest of the league and finish with the best record in the NHL. It will not matter if Auston Matthews leads the league in goals, wins the Hart Memorial Trophy as MVP and has the single greatest season in team history. Even if they did all of that, if they get bounced in the first round yet again, it would all be forgotten in a second.

What truly matters is not how the Maple Leafs play in February, but how they might be playing in May or June. If they stay focused on that, they can give the city something it hasn’t seen in seventeen, and possibly even 55 years. Or they can continue to hone their craft as the disaster artists of the NHL as they have for the last half-century. Either way, whatever masterpiece they come up with this time, it certainly will not disappoint.

About the author

Harry Hillman
By Harry Hillman

Monthly Web Archives