Welcome back to my personal blog (the Arts & Culture section of Obiter Dicta).
It’s officially November, which means that hot weather is officially gone. We are swiftly transitioning from the sunny, fifteen-degree days of early autumn, to the gloomy five degree days that I believe are solely responsible for seasonal depression. I feel like Napoleon marching into Russia—it doesn’t seem that bad yet, but I have a gut feeling that the next couple of months may be significantly worse.
For us students of the law, November means no more breaks until January. I would make a strong case that November is the only month on the calendar worse for law school students than February. We are about to enter the thick of it, for lack of better way to put it.
To briefly summarize, it’s cold, and schoolwork appears to have no end in sight.
But not all hope is lost.
I believe I am not alone in saying that one of the consistent joys in my life is eating a great meal. Rain, shine, or even snow sleet, food isn’t going anywhere. And few foods breed more joy than a proper hamburger.
If you’re looking for something to put a smile on your face in these less-than-ideal circumstances, take some advice from my definitive rankings of Toronto hamburgers. And as always, let me know if I missed anything. I love burgers—tell me where else I should try them.
5. The Harbour 60 Burger
The Harbour 60 burger is certainly to die for—if you’re willing to wound your bank account in the process. This burger makes the list because I believe it is the best of the “fancy” burgers available. It runs circles around the infamous Bymark burger.
This burger is made from exclusively ground up USDA ribeye, giving it a slight advantage over the general ground beef burgers. The beef is topped with some of the usual burger toppings, along with homemade thousand island dressing, and an incredibly unique cheddar and bacon jam.
The burger also comes with fries, but if you want my advice, upgrade those to truffle fries. It will be worth your while.
4. Burger Shack
A true Toronto staple, Burger Shack has been flipping their famous homeburgers for over forty years. Walk into the restaurant and pick your toppings, then watch them make it in front of you. Harvey’s style—but before Harvey’s.
If for some reason, a burger doesn’t tickle your fancy, the Shack also has breakfast options: salads, souvlakis, and more. Their fries and onion rings make a dangerous combination with any of their entrées, including the burger.
Burger Shack is likely the most polarizing option in my ranking, but it is surely worth a try.
3. BFF
Getting into my top three, BFF (Burgers n’ Fries Forever) is a new addition to the Toronto downtown core, and it is slowly moving its way up my rankings.
BFF is a new take on the classic “burger joint” formula. They serve burgers, fries, and fried chicken sandwiches – and not much more. But what they lack in options they make up in flavour.
The issue with ranking a spot like BFF is that it is not exactly original. Many people would say Rudy is better, or maybe even Happy Burger, considering all these restaurants follow a nearly identical “burger joint” formula.
The important point to remember is that enjoyment is always more important than originality. And in terms of enjoyment, BFF takes the cake.
If you’re looking for a straightforward, no-nonsense, high-quality burger and fries, this is the spot for you.
2. Burger Priest
Priest is an undisputed top two on any list in my opinion. It touches all the bases; great originality, strong consistency, and incredible flavour.
Besides having a menu with burgers, fried chicken sandwiches, fries and more, Priest has a secret menu with some of their most unique burger creations. Try the Vatican, a burger sandwiched in between a grilled cheese sandwich, or The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse…
Burger Priest is also always consistent. Never once have I had a burger from them and said, “Hm, this tasted better last time.” Priest is always on their game, at every location. You know what you’re getting and you know it’s going to be good.
Priest loses some points because their french fries are underwhelming—though I would say still quite good – but everything else about this burger joint is fantastic. As my personal go-to, I recommend it to each and every lover of the hamburger.
1. Matty’s Patty’s Burger Club
This burger leads the list exclusively based on its flavour and reliability.
Run by the celebrity chef Matty Matheson, the menu is not very large. It is essentially burgers, fries, and drinks. However, both the burgers and fries are unbelievably tasty—near perfect in my opinion.
One of the best parts of this joint is that the burger doesn’t leave you crippled afterwards, for lack of a better way to put it. As much as I love Burger Priest, you might end up taking a two hour nap after you finish the Vatican. The actual burgers at Matty’s Patty’s, though still delicious, don’t make you feel like garbage afterwards.
The fact that you can eat a burger as good as this one and not fall asleep afterwards makes it extremely tough to beat.