Shadows paint the sidewalk in all shapes and sizes, a slight breeze whistles in the air, and the sun is bright but calm. Leaves spread across forest trails, gently being carried onwards by the wind, unknowing in their journey. Fall is as beautiful a reminder to take it easy as it is a time to think back on where you have been, and where you will go.
I have gone through several different phases of my favourite season. As a child, I was adamant that winter was the best one because I could play in the snow and retire to my warm home as the sun set midway in the afternoon. As a teen, I thought summer was great because there was no school for me to neglect doing homework for, and the laziness of the day gave way to the cool summer air in the night that put the world around you at a stand-still. If you thought the natural progression would culminate in my newfound enjoyment of fall above all other seasons, you have unfortunately been plot-twisted. While I have regressed back to my child-like enjoyment of winter, albeit now primarily for the cozy feeling of watching snowflakes stick to my window at night, there is a newfound appreciation within me for fall. That being said, unless I go through some kind of life-altering experience where a group of bees saves me from being mugged, I do not think I will share the same sentiment for spring.
Full disclosure, I was born in September, so my opinion on early fall is inherently biased. However, it has taken me a while to come around to a full-fledged enjoyment of fall because it had nothing tangible for me as a child. In terms of stating its case as an appealing season, fall really struggles when compared to juggernauts such as winter or summer, where vacations consist of gift-receiving (and giving, of course) holidays and an overall disregard for the education system. Compare that to fall, and you have fewer holidays and more work to do in preparation for the winter. What season do midterms fall (unintentional pun) on? Sure, winter has finals, but what is your reward after putting in three days of studying before an eighty-five percent final? A hefty three to four week break that you use to debate whether going back to school is even worth it, and how long you can survive on your pile of savings before your parents call you with a mix of worry and disappointment in their tone. That being said, there is just something about fall that puts me in a great mood.
Unpopular opinion alert: I do not think that rainy weather is as bad as people make it out to be. Rain adds a layer of natural unpredictability to any activity: Will you make it inside on time? Did you look outside at the cloudy sky and bring an umbrella with you to shield yourself from the elements? The only bad part about the fall weather is those cold days, often with rain, that make you queasy when you step onto the soft and muddy ground, unable to close your ears to that sloshing noise. But fall is so much more than its superficial beauty; it is a great time for introspective thought rarely afforded in the other seasons.
It is no coincidence that Thanksgiving, a holiday that, while founded on quite troublesome roots, is in essence a holiday based on paying homage to the things that keep us going. Whether that be friends, family, loved ones, or the brand new Benz you just got with thirteen percent APR (it was a good deal, do not listen to anyone tell you otherwise), the holiday is a moment of reflection.
One of the easiest metrics for reflection seems to be a financial one. If you can visibly see your progress throughout the years as measured by your wealth, you can believe you have achieved something great. I do not doubt that financial metrics are good indicators for career progression, or opportunity-taking in the professional world. However, I simultaneously believe that financial metrics can paint a false illusion and lull us into a sense of complacency. Money is earned, but at what cost? It is fairly disingenuous for me to sit atop my moral high horse and pretend like I have a vast amount of capital that I actively choose to avoid using as a metric, because I do not. What I do have is an appreciation for the subtleties of life, the not-so-in-your-face experiences and sentiments. To me, self-reflection should be based on the way we treat others and the person we envision ourselves to be when we play out fake scenarios of arguments not had, and speeches never uttered.
I have long advocated against the expression “if you cannot handle me at my worst, you do not deserve me at my best.” Your worst should not be a burden you impose upon others; instead, you should be actively looking to pick up the pieces and bring your best at all times. Otherwise, without the accountability to yourself, you risk becoming willfully blind to the thoughts and feelings of those around you. None of us are perfect, but your degree of perfection matters less than your ability to face the consequences and learn from your mistakes. Not to sound like an OCI interviewer, but think of a time when you made a mistake, apologized for it, and then that was it. I would say that is the norm for mistakes, because we believe that an apology is the end of an issue, and that admitting a mistake means you have patched it all up. Unfortunately, this is like placing a bandaid on a crack that buckles and groans with every swish of water in the tank. You actively have to be better than the person who made the mistake, which was a prior version of you. Whether you believe you are at fault is largely irrelevant, as are your reasons for acting in a certain way. At the end of the day, all of our choices have real consequences, and choosing to take it a step beyond simply apologizing requires a conscious effort and an introspective glance into the types of people we would like to be. Look inward, and you might find something that you never wanted to see.
This fall, take a moment to smell the chilly breeze and crunch some leaves under the weight of your boots, but also take a moment to think critically about the image you project onto this world. We all have big dreams, so the difference between those who reach them and those who do not lies in our ability to improve and adapt. There should never be a fear or repulsion to growing as a character, and we should strive to be more than what society has intended for us. Happy fall, happy midterm season (not for me, I am now a 2L), and happy thinking.