ANONYMOUS
<Anonymous Person>
<Probably Travis>
I hope everyone had the pleasure of watching various world leaders’ speeches at the UN last week. The most informative and argumentatively sound speech was of course Mr. Netanyahu’s (Yahoo). I would offer my congratulations to him and his adoring fans at the American Israel Public Affairs Committee and the American Enterprise Institute. I did not realize this before, but Israel certainly is facing clear and immediate danger from Iran. I have been pondering what risk Israel would face if Iran acquired a nuke but after Yahoo’s speech I have realized that the fear of nuclear armament pales in comparison to the fear that Iran has almost acquired a Hot Bob-omb.
I was terrified to see this as the reality facing Israel in the near future. Bob-ombs fuck people up bad. If anybody has played the mini-game “Hot Bob-omb” featured in the realistic battle simulator game “Mario Party,” you know what I am talking about. If you end up holding the Hot Bob-omb at the end of the game you get fucked up and Bowser steals all of your coins. Not only is your character abjectly impoverished after this but Bowser taunts you mercilessly.
If Iran gets a Hot Bob-omb and uses it against Israel there will be no chance at retaliation from Mr. Yahoo. One nuclear bomb would provoke serious retaliation and Israel would have to dip into their 120 bomb strong arsenal to teach these rogue Persians a lesson. This geopolitical reality probably provokes people to ask: “why would Iran use the bomb anyway if the retaliation would ensure their complete and absolute destruction?” With a Hot Bob-omb, retaliation would be impossible as Israel would be so depressed from Bowser’s unrelenting abuse that they would not have the morale to retaliate in any way whatsoever. Checkmate for Ahmadinejad.