Exploring the Paradox
This article is not for everyone. If you are looking for an in-depth analysis of a Supreme Court case, or a cover on how to secure that Bay Street interview, move right along! If you are going to stay, however, keep in mind that most of the generalizations made here are meant to be illustrative of the greater point and, really, it’s not that serious.
It has recently occurred to me that law students rarely, if ever, concern themselves with discussions about happiness. Whenever I speak to my friends and colleagues about their aspirations in law school and beyond, the word “success” is mentioned often, but the word “happiness” almost never. It seems as though success has been conflated with happiness in our context—or worse—that success must be achieved even at the cost of happiness. With the arriva of the first law-school grades, this mentality takes over like a parasite, breeding exponentially, causing some students to experience breakdowns and others to work themselves beyond their means. It seems bizarre to me, as it is common knowledge that a career in law will take up most of our free time, that we spend virtually no time discussing this important factor. Cliché or not, time is the most precious thing we have. Shouldn’t we then turn our minds to what it means to be happy, so that we may incorporate it into our potential legal careers? In Ethical Lawyering in the Global Community, we learn how to choose the kind of career that will benefit society, rather than only our pockets; we learn about the rules and expectations of an ethical lawyer, yet it is expected, it seems, that we have already learned how to be happy.
The happy law student is a paradox—an oxymoron. Everyone knows that if you are a law student you must be miserable, always too busy for your friends and family, and never have time for anything other than things pertaining to your future career. We come into law school with these presuppositions and we live them out in the daily law-related conversations that we have with others. We laugh uncomfortably about how we are kind of lonely, and then complain about how difficult it is to manage a relationship alongside our law studies. We rarely have constructive conversations with our colleagues or ourselves about how to balance our lives.
I am writing this because I believe there has to be open communication in our hallways about happiness. While conversations about mental health, mental disorders, and depression are indeed important to destigmatize—and have great value for our community members—it is disheartening to hear how easy it is for people to say “I feel depressed,” yet never say “I figured out how to be happy, despite the pressure.”
I am now going to bore you with some philosophy. According to philosopher Wayne Sumner, who has spent considerably more time than any of us contemplating this subject, happiness is the authentically experienced and autonomously derived satisfaction with life. He claims that in order to be happy, we not only should feel it manifesting cognitively, but also be able to look back at our lives in aggregate, and claim that indeed, we lived a satisfying life. According to Sumner, no list of accomplishments, or objective definition can appraise your life other than you, as happiness is something that each person must subjectively and authentically evaluate. This is something that is often forgotten in our hallways, as many events, collectives, and speakers orient students towards equating success with having a career on Bay Street, landing a summer job after 1L, and so on.
Operating under the assumption that most law students are living authentic lives they have chosen of their own free will, I am going to say a bit more about feeling happiness cognitively. This goes beyond just experiencing a string of joyful moments, such as grabbing a beer with a friend, or finding out that you have an interview at a firm. It goes beyond even having a happy or cheerful disposition, though cultivating such an attitude might help. It means sensing deep fulfillment by reflecting that our lives and our expectations for our lives are not too far apart; though this may not necessarily be as a result of what might be commonly defined as “reaching success.”
For some, deep fulfillment comes from being able to help others in some meaningful way: by helping them resolve a tension in a personal relationship, or editing their cover letter on an important application. For others, deep fulfillment comes from achieving something for themselves, such as securing a coveted articling position and joyfully resolving technical issues on cases every day, knowing that this is what truly brings them satisfaction. There are countless other ways to achieve a reflective sense of deep fulfillment at all moments during our day. What is common is a deep appreciation for life, self-knowledge regarding our needs and desires, and an acute awareness of how our time is spent. The deeply fulfilled among us know that when we are happy, success can be cultivated despite moments of failure. Though I am now dangerously close to invoking yet another cliché, failure carries many important lessons if we learn how to search for them.
“Happy law student” is not an oxymoron. We deserve to nurture happiness just as much as those zany art students across campus. What is important is defining what brings us happiness and joy and learn to openly discuss our journeys to becoming balanced and happy. And yes, I see the irony that it is the Masters of Philosophy student who is promoting happiness.
I want to end this article with a short meditative exercise that you might want to try. I want you to sit comfortably and close your eyes or soften your gaze, wherever you are, for two minutes while inhaling deeply for two seconds and softly exhaling for three. Count ten breaths in this rhythm. Numbers are abstract entities, they activate the analytic part of our brains, thus soothing our minds and calming our emotions when we are overwhelmed. Whenever an emotionally charged thought enters your mind, begin counting from one again. Focus on two things only: here and now. Feel yourself in your body, listen to your surroundings and focus on that elongated breath. Go ahead, I’ll wait. That feels strangely better, doesn’t it? Despite popular belief to the contrary, stress is not a necessary part of your daily life. Learn to listen to your body and help it attune to your environment and the callings of your mind; you will find that you can be a happy, deeply fulfilled law student.