TORONTO, ON
Local Osgoode Law student Rebecca Stevens, has reported to Obiter that her three-month relationship with her boyfriend, Kyle, is quickly taking a turn for the worse. Whereas most women in her situation would cut these things off immediately, Rebecca’s legal training has given her a different perspective on the matter – sheer curiosity about how all of their issues will play out in court.
“Over the last 90 days, he’s already proven to be an expert in gaslighting me; imagine the damage he could do in front of a family court judge,” Rebecca told us right before calling her adult boyfriend to remind him not to sleep in. After a trio of separate, five-minute arguments, she added, “and he lives like a totally useless and irresponsible slob, but I’m sure he’ll be able to convince the court that it’s somehow my fault.”
Rebecca looks forward to seeing how her rocky relationship will blossom into a decade of protracted litigation. “Sure, I could dump him, but I’d be denying the legal community the opportunity to examine what will likely become the most dysfunctional family situation to ever grace CanLII.”
Rebecca has compiled a list of Kyle’s present faults, as well as the complex, interesting, horrifying legal questions these faults will generate in the future. Regarding her list, Rebecca remarked, “My Professor told me that with a couple of citations, this list will probably qualify for my upper year research and writing requirement.”
At press time, Rebecca says she is prepared to settle in regards to their relationship, if not in her litigation strategy.