ETOBICOKE, ON – On Tuesday, Obiter had the chance to sit down with Fred McQuaid, 59, Member of Parliament for Etobicoke West. McQuaid is looking to defend his title for the fourth time in what is shaping up to be an incredibly divisive election.
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Obiter: I’ve got to say that it’s an honour to meet you, sir. You’ve had one hell of a career. Could you give our readers a quick summary of your political stance, for the unfamiliar?
McQuaid: As a queer politician I live a kind of double-life. I like to think of it as carefully balancing a respect for people’s inherent dignity with the understanding that people like me shouldn’t have any rights and the few rights we win should be made as difficult as possible to access. I’m glad we can have our cake and eat it too as long as we’re not too uppity about it (laughs).
O: Interesting – What has it been like as an openly-gay politician in Canada? Do you feel like you’re viewed differently by your fellow conservatives or the media?
M: Oh, absolutely. People who don’t know me are expecting their preconceived idea of a gay man. These stereotypes simply aren’t true. I want people to know that while I am gay, I’m a conservative first. That means the overall awkwardness and stuffiness of the Conservative party will always eclipse any joy or flamboyance. Though I – (laughs) – I must admit I can be a little bit more fun than the other Tories.
O: Oh, how so?
M: I wear colourful bow ties. I mean – (chuckles) – can you imagine?
O: That’s truly a big leap for a Conservative. Now tell me – how do you feel about the rhetoric going around in this election? Specifically the rhetoric coming from your former colleague Maxime Bernier and his People’s Party?
M: Oh the stuff that Bernier says is just terrible. I agree with the man in so many areas, but I just can’t get behind a guy who made those anti-RuPaul Drag Race tweets. Truly the worst thing he’s ever said or done.
O: What about his anti-immigrant and Islamophobic comments?
M: Well, I’ve never had an issue with any of that – Listen, our party’s internal documents suggest that we only care about one minority group at a time.
O: You say you don’t care about those topics, but that didn’t stop your campaign from tweeting up a storm about Trudeau’s brownface scandal.
M: Oh let’s be clear – there’s my personal beliefs and then there’s the party-mandated media blitzes. All of my tweets are managed by our social media interns; a team of nineteen-year olds who are mad about campus free speech or their PoliSci TAs or something.
O: Turning towards the rhetoric within your own party, I want to address the elephant in the room. Your party leader, Andrew Scheer, has been under fire for his early 2000s comparison of same-sex marriage to marrying one’s dog. How do you reconcile your identity with some of the major figures in your party?
M: Well it’s sad, really, but there are sacrifices you have to make to get traction on important issues. I disagree with Scheer on pretty much everything except his stance on gay marriage.
O: I’m sorry, you disagree with Scheer on most major issues except same-sex marriage? How did you come to that conclusion?
M: After a long streak of dating issues, I finally met someone who I really hit it off with in the late 90s. We kept things fun and casual for years. Then in 2005, parliament legalized same-sex maarriage. The added pressure of marriage sent both of us into a spiral – I’m not sure how you straights deal with it. We had to break it off. Ever since then, it’s just been one disastrous Grindr hookup after another. With all of the self-loathing I’ve been carrying, I don’t think I’m deserving of love, so at this point having the right to marry just seems like adding salt to the wound.
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After a brief break to compose himself, I thanked Mr. McQuaid for his time. As we took down our recording equipment, I asked him for a concluding remark. He reiterated that no matter what the LGBT community might think, McQuaid will always be right behind Scheer.
Before press time, Scheer contacted Obiter, begging us to rephrase that last line if we knew what was good for us.