I wish I had that burger. I wish he would lift his eyes from that beautifully-crafted, gluten-encased slab of protein and carbs and dairy and fat and spices…who cares about the lettuce? I wish he would lift his eyes from that burger, meet mine, and that somehow, through some miraculous/ telepathic/ cosmological process using more than the standard 10% brain capacity, he would just know what...
Report: One Fucking Asshole In Group Presentation Wore A Suit Toronto, ON – Shit, shit, shit. On Monday it was reported to Obiter Dicta that this one fucking asshole in your seminar wore a fucking suit. Why the hell did he think that was a good idea? This fucking thing is only worth 8% of your total grade, and the group all agreed that they’d “just do business-casual.” This one fucking...
Goodbye Orbiter Dicta On August 26th, 2019, Obiter Dicta’s latest initiative — the creation of a space program — went down in flames when their satellite, the Orbiter Dicta, spun out of its orbit and crashed into Earth. While most of the debris burned up upon re-entering Earth’s atmosphere, the stench of the Orbiter Dicta’s sodden newsprint ignition fuel now permeates the Osgoode campus. “This...
Over the course of August 2019, newspaper staff finally got around to cleaning Obiter Dicta’s office space for the first time in the paper’s fifty year history on Osgoode’s York campus. The cleanup, which Obiter staff were totally getting around to doing for the last half-century, was prompted by a discharge of toxic fluids emanating from the floor when Editor-in-Chief Connor Campbell tried to...
Hi, my name is Emmanuel and I’m the Satire Section Editor. Welcome to Osgoode. Sure, there may be better news publications out there, but we’ve outlived them all (our Editor-in-Chief is very happy to point out we are the longest lived law school newspaper in North America, despite our best efforts). This year’s team of writers and shit-disturbers will be responsible for bringing some cheer and...
TORONTO, ON Local Osgoode Law student Rebecca Stevens, has reported to Obiter that her three-month relationship with her boyfriend, Kyle, is quickly taking a turn for the worse. Whereas most women in her situation would cut these things off immediately, Rebecca’s legal training has given her a different perspective on the matter – sheer curiosity about how all of their issues will play out...
The Osgoode Hall Law School is pleased to announce the successful launch of the Orbiter Dicta, the school’s new state-of-the-art miscommunication satellite. The launch vehicle for the satellite was the Red Rocket, installed on the York University campus in December 2017. OBITER staff were ecstatic upon seeing the satellite successfully reach orbit given the failure of the last thing the paper...
Correctional Facilities Still Open for Business Ontario Premier, Doug Ford has announced new plans this Friday to “reinvigorate and maintain efficient standards” in Legal Aid Ontario. This announcement follows a lengthy call to action among members of the legal community once the Premier announced major cuts to Legal Aid Ontario. In April, the Ford government abruptly decided to cut 30...